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Relationships can be a huge source of joy, helping us feel understood and valued. The close connections in our ‘village’ are the ones who lift us up, offering guidance and encouragement when we might need it most. As a vital ingredient of mental fitness, your village is made up of the people you love, adore, and can’t imagine life without. It might be family, friends, colleagues, or the mates you meet up with for that weekly game or coffee run.
In the rush of daily life, it’s easy to overlook how important these connections really are. But strong relationships and a sense of belonging aren’t just nice-to-haves – they’re essential for building mental fitness. It’s not about the number of people you have in your corner; it’s about the quality of those bonds that bring support and authentic connection. These are your Gotcha4Life mates – people you can have a conversation with, warts and all, knowing you are not going to be judged.
A simple way to connect with your village
This activity is a favourite of Gus Worland, founder of Gotcha4Life, and if you’ve ever been to one of our workshops or presentations, it might ring a bell. It’s a super simple exercise that can light up someone’s heart and make theirs, and your, day.
1. Think of someone in your life who means the world to you.
Close your eyes and focus on what makes them so special to you. How do they make you feel? If you're in a place where you can say it out loud, speak their name.
2. Now, grab your phone and send them a message that says:
"I love you, I miss you, see you soon xoxo." Keep it simple, no emojis, just a straightforward message of love. Sure, it might feel a little awkward, but trust that it's worth it.
3. As you wait for their reply, sit with the feelings.
This might feel like connection, love, and gratitude. Picture their reaction as they receive that unexpected message.
4. When they reply or call, take the opportunity to go deeper.
Don't shy away from being vulnerable; sometimes, it's those heartfelt conversations that strengthen your bond the most.
If you’re stuck on how to respond, you could start with ‘I was reading an article and thinking about someone who means a lot to me, and you’re the person I thought of’..
Looking after your village is an important part of nurturing your own mental fitness – and theirs. Once you’ve sent your message, consider sending a similar message to the other people you love and adore for the rest of your week, and notice what happens and how you feel.
Why this matters
Research shows that strong social bonds can make a big difference in our lives – helping us feel less anxious, boosting our wellbeing, and even contributing to a longer, healthier life (Umberson & Montez, 2010). Healthy relationships also provide a sense of purpose and belonging that’s essential for mental fitness and wellbeing at every stage of life (Hartup & Stevens, 1997).
Checking in regularly with friends and loved ones keeps these bonds strong, giving us the emotional strength we need. By looking after your village, you’re helping to create a foundation of support that makes facing life’s challenges a little easier.
Hear directly from Gus in the Love You Miss You Reps video exercise, as he shares the importance of a simple check-in and guides you through how to take a connection into something even more meaningful.
The Science of Mental Fitness
This article highlights that strong social connections are associated with lower levels of anxiety and depression, greater well-being, and even increased longevity. Regularly checking in with friends and loved ones helps reinforce these social bonds, which are essential for emotional support and resilience. Umberson, D., & Montex, J. K. (2010). Social relationships and health: A flashpoint for health policy. Journal of Health and Social Behaviour, 51(Suppl), S54-S66.
This paper reviews the impact of friendships on psychological well-being across the lifespan. It highlights that supportive friendships are associated with better mental health outcomes, including lower levels of depression and anxiety. Being a good friend can provide a sense of purpose, belonging, and emotional support, which are crucial for mental well-being. Hartup, W. W., & Stevens, N. (1997). Friendships and Adaptation in the Life Course. Psychological Bulletin, 121(3), 355-370.
